Castle Oblivion Survivor
by Catspee
Summary: Our favorite COM org. members, along with Sora, Riku, and some crazy fangirl are trapped in Castle Oblivion. Craziness happens, Namine's pregnant, Jerry Springer, Everybody goes to school, and Lexeus has a battle song!
1. Ze Beginning

Castle Oblivion Survivor

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts…

I got this story idea from playing Kingdom Hearts COM and from watching Drawn Together.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Some of the stuff in this story was written before KH2 came out, so don't bitch about there being a wrong number 7 and shit.

Chapter 1

It was a day unlike any other in Castle Oblivion. For today, the keyblade master was there, without Goofy and Donald (Daisy kept bitching at Donald to go out on a date and Goofy had to pay off his debts). And Riku was there, too. You know why.

But as soon as both two were there… the doors were shut. Tight. And there was no way out of Castle Oblivion… at least everything was sealed. There was only a refrigerator, a bunch of drinks at the bar, a stove, and a grill. Oh and a bunch of things for them to stay alive.

So at Floor 13.

"I BELIEVE IN MIRCALES… WHERE YOU FROM… YOU SEXY THING!" sung Axel very loudly. Zexion twitched. Lexus covered his ears. Vixen cried and fell on the ground. Marluxia glared at him. Larxene stuck the middle finger up.

"Shut up Larxene," said Axel.

"I sense a fight coming on… how interesting," said Zexion.

Vexen held his ears in pain.

"I'm an old man! Respect for the elder!" cried Vexen. "I'm deaf now because of you. AXEL."

"I believe in miracles… where you from… you sexy thing," sung Marluxia. "Heh… heh. Namine, get the hell over here and party."

Namine shrugged and began dancing.

Meanwhile, Larxene and Axel were in a glaring fight.

"My glares are better!" roared Larxene.

"Never!" cried Axel with drama.

"…How pointless," said Zexion, he folded his arms and watched.

"…I'm gonna get my self a steroid," said Lexus. He pulled out some steroids, and took one.

"…Druggie," said Vixen.

"The hell did you say?" asked Lexus.

"Nothing," said Vixen.

Zexion watched Axel and Larxene have a glaring fight, until he finally spoke up.

"Riku's here. Sora's here. The castle doors are locked. We're screwed," said Zexion.

"…Who in their right mind decided to do that?" asked Marluxia.

"Uh. Maybe you," said Vixen.

"…Just because I live here doesn't mean it's magic and I control the magic here. Think… kid, think," said Marluxia.

"For the last time. I'm an old man," said Vixen. He held hair dye in his hands.

"DIEEEE!" Riku and Sora charged at the Organization members.

"AAHHHHH!" screamed Larxene.

"You scream like a girl," said Axel.

"But I am a girl… Axel… you dim wit," said Larxene.

"Whatever," Axel replied.

The two then stopped rushing. And a yellow light came sparkling down.

"…Welcome to hell, guys," said the voice.

"Your majesty! But why?" asked Riku.

"….the fuck? Well bitches, for some strange reason nobody in this castle can leave. Someone can only come in! Bye bitches!" the voice then faded away.

"Crap," said Sora.

"Commit it to memory," said Axel.

"Old'd" said Sora.

"Erase his memories Namine!" barked Marluxia.

"What would be the point?" asked Namine.

"Meh… you're right," said Marluxia.

"OH MY GOD. THEY HAVE THE SAME HAIR COLOR!" screamed Sora. He pointed at Riku and Zexion.

"IT'S THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HEART, RIKU!" screamed Namine.

"OH MY GOD!" screamed Riku.

"What the fuck?" asked Axel.

"This is one hell of a show, Axel," said Zexion.

"I hate spoilers," said Larxene typing on her lab top.

"You're on GameFAQs, it's obvious there's spoilers in a few topics around there. I've tried it. It works. Since I'm a scientist," said Vexen.

"An old one," said Larxene.

"Bitch," said Vexen.

"WHAT WAS THAT WORD YOUNG MAN?" asked Larxene. She fired a thunderbolt at Vexen.

"Nothing, and I'm an old man," said Vexen. "YOU BITCHES DON'T LISTEN TO ME!"

"Lexus go say random words! Lexus must beat up Sora," said Lexus.

"Oh shit!" said Sora.

"LEXUS THE TOMAHAWK. THE BIG HULKY NOBODY IN THE ORGANIZATION. NOBODY 5 HE IS. HE USES STERIODS A HELL A LOT. HE ALSO HAS THE ELEMENT OF EARTH. WHICH AT LEAST IS GOOD TO KNOW SINCE NO KH PLAYER KNOWS WHAT THE HELL ZEXION'S IS. LEXUS IS BROAD AND STRONG. THE LADIES JUST HAVE TO SING FOR HIM!" the men organization members singed expect for Lexus.

"Lexus, Lexus, you're my hero! My buff strong hero! Lexus, Lexus, has Earth power and reminds me of Terra! The traitor!" Namine and Larxene sung.

Lexus threw rocks at Sora, who then fell down, KO'ED.

"Least he's not dead. WE NEED HIM TO RULE 'DA ORGANIZATION!" screamed Marluxia.

"What about me?" asked Riku.

"We'll be best friends forever," said Zexion.

"No… stop… NOOOOOOO!" Riku pleaded.

"Is everyone on game-designer drugs?" asked Axel.

"Is it me, or lately you appear attractive to me?" asked Larxene to Axel.

"Same with you," said Axel.

"Let's go to bed," said Namine. And so they went to bed in their cozy little beds.

End of Chapter 1

Yes, there are grammar mistakes. My computers been bitchy lately, and since I have a Windows 98, and since whenever I click on ABC check on Microsoft Word… it shuts down. Hopefully this crappy time will pass, and my computer will be normal again.

Author's note: YAY I EDITTED THE CHAPTER 'CUZ SOMEONE BITCHED ABOUT THE SHTS AND FCKS! sorry bitches, i had to pm teh story to me from a forum that blocked censors and I forgot to take some of the censors off.


	2. Songs

Castle Oblivion Survivor

Uh… don't own Final Fantasy.

Chapter 2

The next day at the 13th floor in Castle Oblivion…

"You know, I was thinking about yesterday," said Marluxia as all the other organization members and… people stood around as they just got there from bed.

"Yes?" Larxene asked.

"I say we make our own theme songs, how is that? Lexus had his yesterday, so why don't we sing the rest of ours?" asked Marluxia.

"You're right," said Larxene.

"Well, okay people, get into position and let's sing our theme songs. I'll go first," said Marluxia. Everyone expect Marluxia went far behind him in a group.

"Marluxia! Marluxia! A true man! He wields a scythe and uses flowers to beat the crap out of people! He tried to beat the crap out of Sora that way! A true man, Marluxia is. Marluxia! Marluxia! He is the king of bums! He wants Sora to be his slave because he is lazy! And he barely has to work a lot. So I don't know why the hell he complains! Marluxia! MARLUXIA! A DAMN TRUE MAAAAAAAN!!" the group sung. Then Marluxia joined the group, and Axel went up.

"AXEL! The flame dude in the organization! AXEL! He got some killer fire in him! He's not afraid to use it! AXEL! Nobody 8 he is… AXEL! He's a double agent but no one knows who the fuck he works for! AXEL! He'll kick your ass, with his cool red hair, and his clown reminding face! AXEL! Be afraid, 'cuz it's AXEL!"

"HAHAHA!" laughed Axel, he backed away and Sora walked up.

"When you walk away, you don't hear me say: please oh baby, don't go. Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight it's hard to let it go. You're giving me too many things lately. You're all I need, you smiled at me and said: "Wish I could prove I love you but does that mean I have to meet your father? When we are older you'll understand what I meant when I said no, I don't think, life is quite that simple." When you walk away, you don't hear me say: please oh baby, don't go. Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight it's hard to let it go."

"So simple and clean," the ladies said.

"The daily things," the men sung.

"Like this and that and what," the ladies then said. They then joined together into singing again…

"Are confusing me… that's when you came to me, and said. Wish I could prove I love you, but does that mean I have to walk on water? When we are older you'll understand what I meant when I said no, I don't think, life is quite that simple. When you walk away, you don't hear me say: please oh baby, don't go. Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight it's hard to let it go. Hold me, whatever lies beyond this morning. I'm ready for. Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all. Nothings like before. When you walk away, you don't hear me say: please oh baby, don't go. Simple and clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight it's hard to let it go. Hold me, whatever lies beyond this morning. I'm ready for. Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all. Nothings like before. Hold me, whatever lies beyond this morning. I'm ready for. Regardless of warnings the future doesn't scare me at all. Nothings like before."

"Wait… that's wrong," said Sora. "THAT'S FUCKING WRONG YOU BITCHES!! GO SEE THE DAMN ENDING OF KINGDOM HEARTS AGAIN. OR SEE THE CREDITS OF COM AGAIN. YOU BITCHES DISGUST ME!" Sora then threw his keyblade at everyone expect himself, and began crying.

"Meh. Screw the songs, check this shit out," said Larxene, as she ran to her lab top, and went on Fanfiction net.

"Whoa. There's a story where I'm crazy to kill everyone," said Axel.

"And a few one shots that feature me… ooh la la," said Larxene.

"It won't be long until all those COM players see me, and want to touch my sexy hair... and make stories why my hair is covering my right eye. And I'll be getting girls drooling all over me in parody fanfictions. Soon they'll write stories how I probably worked for Ansem, that he probably tested on me and that I'm probably the GEU in Deep Dive!" Zexion cried. "But… they're wrong."

"HOLY SHIT. THERE IS A STORY THAT TELLS US WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY IN THE RATED R SECTION. WE'RE BEING STALKED!!!" screamed Vixen, he then left the room crying.

"Holy crap… what if there were cameras here?" asked Marluxia.

"That maybe you putted here to tape pornos of each other, and offer them on Ebay for money," said Riku. "You sick bastard! I knew you were the minute you pulled out that Pink Scythe of yours in COM! And used those flowers! You see Marluxia, the darkness in my heart knows everything."

"Just like how Ansem knows everything," said Zexion.

"EVERYTHING IS FUTILE! EXPECT MY STERIODS!" screamed Lexus.

"You know, I realized that Lexus's name in the American version is hard to pronounce and remember," said Sora. "Thank god in the Japanese one he's… Lexus?"

"I think so," said Lexus.

"What the fuck?" asked Axel.

"Oh Axel, do me," said Larxene.

"…YOU OWE ME MONEY VIXEN!! THEY'RE GONNA SCREW EACH OTHER!" screamed Marluxia.

"Fuck!" screamed Vixen as he came into the room, he then gave Marluxia $100.

"Oh it's love at first site," said Marluxia as he smiled at the $100 bill.

"I hate you Larxene," said Sora. "I want to have sex with Axel!"

"NO FUCKING WAY!!!" screamed everyone.

"Nah, I'm just screwing with you guys," said Sora.

"Fuck," said Mickey popping out of nowhere. He then disappeared.

"Whoa," said Zexion, he played with his hair.

"Your majesty? But why?" asked Riku.

"What the fuck Riku?" asked Mickey, he appeared again.

"Why do you keep saying fuck? That's not like you," said Riku.

"Hell do I fucking know? You donkey raping shiteater. Fuck you guys I'm going," said Mickey, he disappeared.

"Oh shit," said Zexion. "I'm sensing a pissed Walt… I could see it now. WHY THE HELL DID YOU CURSE MICKEY? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A CUTE MOUSE!!"

Just then, Axel and Larxene left the room. Marluxia then made the others go to his camera room.

In the camera room…

The others stared at a naked Larxene and Axel, in the camera room in front of a small TV. A red dot appeared on it on the lower left screen.

"I'm going to make millions of money out of this," said Marluxia. They watched the naked two in the TV.

"Wait. You record us?" asked Zexion.

"Yes. There are cameras everywhere, even in the damn bathroom. We just fucking went over this a few minutes ago… or seconds. And Zexion, I'm sure you remember that red dot in the shower…"

FLASHBACK

"Mmm… sexy," said the voice of Marluxia while Zexion was taking a shower.

"…What the fuck?" asked Zexion as he just rinsed his sexy hair with conditioner.

"SPANK THAT ASS BITCH!! YEEEAH!" screamed the voice of Marluxia.

"AHHHHH!!!!!!" screamed Zexion. He then saw a red dot on the ceiling, and then ran out of the shower. He grabbed a tower, wrapped it around his waist. He then grabbed his Organization uniform, and ran of the bathroom.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!!! WHAT THE FUCK? SHIT!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD I AM SO FUCKING VIOLATED!!! FUUUUUUCK!" screamed Zexion as he ran for his life in the corridors of Castle Oblivion, running like hell to his room. As then he saw a big ass red dot following him.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH! GOD DAMN YOU MARLUXIA! YOU sht FACE COCK MASTER!!!" He then got to his room, and got dressed.

END OF FLASHBACK

"Oh my god," said Zexion. "You… mother fucker. God knows all the things that happened, yet forgotten because of Namine."

"I DON'T WANNA FUCKING KNOW WHAT GOES ON BETWEEN YOU TWO WHEN YOU TWO ARE ALONE!!" screamed Riku. The poor teenage boy began to cry.

"It's okay Riku… I'm still a virgin," said Namine.

"Phew," said Riku.

"…I'm having an erection, guys," said Sora.

"Shut the fuck up," said Lexus.

"Okay. If only Kairi was here… hmmm…" Sora began thinking.

"Ah. Teenage boys and their urge for sex," said Vixen. "Something I don't want my Riku Replica to have."

"You touch yourself at night?" asked Sora.

"No," said Vixen. "I'm disgusted. Screw you guys I'm going home…"

And so Namine, Marluxia, Riku, Zexion, Lexus, and Sora watched Larxene and Axel do it.

Later, when Larxene and Axel finished having sex. They stuck the middle finger at the camera, and putted their clothes on.

"…Whoa," said Namine. "Now I know what to do."

"Alright Namine, let's go," said Marluxia.

"STAY AWAY FROM NAMINE! I WON'T LET YOU… HAVE SEX WITH HER!! YOU DAMN SICKO!" screamed Riku as he then slashed Marluxia with his Soul Eater. Marluxia then began crying.

"You were fucking right Zexion! It hurts," said Marluxia.

"And now you will fucking regret taping us when we're naked. Bitch," said Zexion.

"Nah. I'm still taping you guys," said Marluxia.

"DIE BITCH!!" screamed Riku as he slashed Marluxia again.

"Son of a bitch!" cried Marluxia, he then disappeared, and Seymour appeared out of no where, and turned into Seymour Flux.

"Your hope ends here! And your meaningless existence with it!"

"Erm… who the fuck has been playing FFX?" asked Axel.

"Me. I was bored," said Sora.

"How the fuck do we kill that son of a bitch?" asked Zexion.

"WE SMACK THAT BITCH!!!" screamed Lexus, he charged at Seymour Flux, and his theme song began.

"NO! We use our overdrives! Wait… OH MY FUCKING GOD IT'S LADY YUNALESCA IN HER THIRD FORM! RUN BITCHES!" screamed Sora as Yunalesca replaced Seymour.

"NO! WE USE HOLY BIATCHES!!" screamed Zexion, as he then cast Holy on her, and she died.

"OH MY GOD ZEXION. YOU KILLED THAT BITCH WITH ONE SPELL. WHERE IT TAKES FOREVER WITH YUNA TO DO THAT!!" screamed Sora.

"My magic is 100000000," said Zexion. "She's easy, I could of used another spell to kill her. But, there's people who play FFX out there, and I thought I'd lend them a hand…"

"You know, Yuna used to do more damage than Lulu did with her Fira skills Yuna did with simple Fire spells. Now that Lulu learned all the ga version of the spells, she does more magic damage. But, if Yuna learned all those other spells, she'd be kick ass and Lulu would be useless," said Sora. "Which would take lots of skill levels and level key spheres…"

"Oh Sora, let's be friends and talk about FFX," said Zexion.

"Yeah!" cried Sora. The two held hands, and walked off onto the distance.

"I just realized Marluxia had microphones there," said Riku, he pointed at the microphones in front of the TVs.

"Lexus sad. Lexus get no attention!" cried Lexus. Vixen popped up.

"I have an idea! Let's clone everybody and make Namine make them our slaves, then we'll get all the attention in the world!" suggested Vixen.

"That's a great idea," said Lexus, the two began hopping out of the room.

"Namine, let's get married," said Riku.

"Yeah," said Namine. The two began making out.

End of Chapter 2


	3. True loves

Castle Oblivion Survivor

Chapter 3

It was a pretty damn hot day in Castle Oblivion. Everyone was in the basement, getting away from the heat upstairs...

Sora was playing FFX-2.

Zexion watched, giving him some tips.

Axel was smoking pot.

Marluxia was twirling his girly pink scythe.

Larxene was reading something... disturbing.

Vexen and Lexus were plotting secretly behind everyone's back.

Namine and Riku were in one quiet room. While Namine moaned, and Riku inserted something of his into Namine.

Okay, anyways.

"I JUST FUCKING FOUND OUT HOW TO HAVE A FIVE WAY SEX!!" screamed Larxene. Everyone rushed over to her.. expect Namine and Riku, they were having too much of a good time to pay attention.

"How do you do it?" asked Sora.

"Alright. There's only one girl in this, and four boys. One boy erm... puts something in her peepee place. Two others furiously suck her... breasts. And the girl goes... sucking at the other boys... firetruck. Yeah," said Larxene.

The boys looked at each other, and rushed towards the corner of the room.

"Alright. Me, Zexion, Sora, and Marluxia will go... Vexen and Lexus, you stay here. 'Cuz..."

"I'll do the left tittie," said Sora.

"Right," Axel then said.

"I'll do the inserting," said Zexion.

"The licking," Marluxia said.

"And we'll all take turns... Larxene is going to make the biggest... ya know in history, and it's all in camera. We'll be rich," said Axel.

"BREAK!" the four said, and walked towards Larxene.

"Eheheheh," said Larxene. The five then left the room.

"I'm disturbed," said Lexus.

"Yeah... how 'bout we go masterbate in front of each other?" Vexen gave a horny laugh.

"AHHHHH!" screamed Lexus, he ran out of the room, and hid under his bed, crying.

Later after everyone was done being horny...

"Hey, Riku... I have to ask you some questions," said Marluxia.

"Yes?" asked Riku.

"How many times did she moan?"

"500."

"Did you moan?"

"500..."

"Thursting?"

"10 times."

"Did you put a condom on?"

"Oh... crap..."

"YOU MOTHER FUCKER!" Marluxia slashed Riku.

"But I didn't know where the moogles sold condoms!" Riku cried.

"That's okay, now I'll probably have 2 memory manipulators. Thanks Riku," said Marluxia. He walked off.

"Riku, I'm pregnant," said Namine, as she walked to him.

"I know," said Riku.

"Wonderful," said Namine.

"What a fucked up chapter. Being 1-d sucks ass," said Zexion.

"I wish Kairi was here! DAMMIT!" screamed Sora.

"Go to her in your memory," said Axel, he snickered.

"Nah... I'll wait," said Sora.

"Yeah," said Axel. "We're so similiar, dude..."

"Yeeeaaahhh..."

"Yeah..."

Zexion then twirled his hair, and began playing FFTA. "La la la la..."

Lexus then came crying to everyone.

"P-please tell me you're all done being horny," said Lexus.

"We're done," said Vexen, smelling Marluxia's roses.

"YES!" screamed Lexus with joy.

Then, a girl with the organization suit came out of nowhere. With short born hair and brown eyes.

"HI GUYS!!! I'M NIKKI!!!" screamed the girl. She then looked at Zexion. "OMFG!!" Nikki then started humping on his leg.

"I damn knew there would be girls going crazy over me in parody fanfics!" cried Zexion.

"Great, who the hell are you?" asked Marluxia.

"I'm No. 7, dumbass. You bitches never met me... oooh Zexion... oooh, Axel," said Nikki, she looked at Axel.

Axel raised an eyebrow.

"He's mine, bitch," said Larxene.

"Yeah, I'll just have Zexion," said Nikki.

Zexion gave the biggest sweatdrop in the world.

"Looks like you got a girl, Zexion," said Axel. "More entertaining than watching Sora and Riku watch paint dry."

"DRY PAINT!! DRY!!" screamed Sora and Riku, looking at red paint on the wall.

"That reminds me... I need a girl," said Marluxia.

"Nevermind, I think having Nikki... is great," said Zexion.

"YAY!" cried Nikki. She then hugged Zexion, with the only thing Zexion could do is hug as well.

"Oh man," said Larxene, she then hugged Axel.

"Let's hug eachother, Riku!" cried Namine.

"Hell yeah," said Riku. He then hugged Namine.

"Damn, I wish Kairi was here," said Sora. "I know just the perfect thing! Genie!"

Genie then appeared. "What do you want?"

"I wish Kairi was here!"

"I want a girl, dammit!" cried Marluxia.

"Um... okay," said Genie. Kairi andYuffie then appeared.

"Alright! About damn time I got a girl," said Marluxia. He then hugged Yuffie.

"YAAAAY KAIRI!!!" screamed Sora, he then hugged Kairi.

"Hi my shadow," said Namine, she waved at Kairi.

"Hi..." Kairi then began making out with Sora.

"Mmmm..." Nikki rubbed her head on Zexion's chest.

"Yaaayy," said Zexion.

"I guess we can become gay then," said Lexeus.

"You're name... it's normal," said Vexen.

"Yes. Truly wonderful," said Lexeus, they then kissed each other on the lips, and giggled.

"REVOLUETION!!!" screamed Marluxia. They all began partying.

End of a wacky Chapter 3


	4. Rivals

**Castle Oblivion Survivor**

Chapter 4

"THAT'S IT AXEL. IT'S TIME YOU GET A DAMN NEW HAIR DO!!" screamed Larxene. "Your spiky, pure red hair is annoying me to hell..."

"But I thought you liked my hair," said Axel. "YOU TRAITOR!!"

Nikki was hugging Zexion- hard.

"I feel loved. I'm sensing love. Woohoo," said Zexion.

"YAAAAY!" screamed Nikki.

"Say Kairi. Did you see that... drawing in the Secret Place?" asked Sora.

"Yessums Sora. I love you tooo..." Kairi then began making out with Kairi.

"You know. I always thought Kairi liked me. But then, I realized that Kairi doesn't suffer from her period yet," said Riku.

"Why?" asked Namine.

"She didn't mention bringing pads on the raft..."

"Ohhhh..."

"So Yuffie-" Marluxia was slapped hard in the face.

"YOU RUINED ALL HOPES FOR A SQUIFFE YOU SON OF A BITCH!!" screamed Yuffie.

"But you know you want a guy who wields a girly pink scythe," said Marluxia.

"Dammit, you're right," said Yuffie. "You pimp machine you..."

"OMFG!!!" screamed Lexeus as he ran into the room. "VEXEN IS BISEXUAL!!"

"A'duh. We knew it from the beginning," said Zexion. "You mean you didn't realize...?"

"Um... I was too busy with my steriods," said Lexeus.

"You know... who the hell is your rival, Zexion?" asked Riku.

"YOU!!!" screamed Zexion, he pulled out a Soul Eater.

"Whoa!! HE HAS A SOUL EATER AS WELL!!!" screamed Riku. "Bring it on, bitch!"

"You just asked for it, uncle fucka'," said Zexion.

"Bring it, Larxene. My knowledge of internet is far more surperier than yours!!" cried Nikki, she pulled out the Oblivion and Oathkeeper keyblade, she putted her hood on, and looked just like the DWU.

"Holy crap! It's the DWU from ASAS and Deep Dive!!" cried Sora. "Wait. How the hell did she get the oathkeeper and oblivion?"

"I um... saw her rob it off you while you were sleeping," said Marluxia. He grinned.

"You're such a pimp," said Yuffie.

"I knooowwww... Raaawwwrrr..."

"OH YES!!" screamed Yuffie.

"You bitches disgust me," said Axel. "No wonder why you guys all died by teenagers. And Vexen was so bad, I had to kill him."

"Thanks you bastard. You ruined COM for me," said Namine, she began crying.

Zexion then threw his soul eater at Riku's head.

BONK!!

"Ow... hey, this is a fake!" cried Riku.

"Of course," said Zexion. "Force!"

Riku then was surrounded by dark energy, and was dropped onto the ground, crying.

"I give up! I give up!"

"You know... I think EM should be my rival," said Zexion.

"Not EM!! That such a damn fast battle," said Sora.

"Durr," said Zexion.

"Thunder!" Larxene casted thunder at Nikki, but she disappeard.

"Stop!" Larxene then stopped, and Nikki beat the crap outta here.

"Um... that was short," said Nikki.

"YOU KNOW WHAT AXEL REMINDS ME OFF?" screamed Larxene. "THOSE SPANISH GIRLS WITH VERY LONG HAIR... WITH HAIR SO RED. IT'S PURE. Or Starfire. I have no idea what the hell I'm saying."

"Oh Larxene, you may seem stupid at sometimes. But when it comes to sex. You're a goddess," said Axel. Larxene began giggling.

"Riku!" cried Namine. "It kicked."

"OH MY GOD!!!" screamed Riku.

"That's barely a month," said Sora.

"Shut the fuck up," said Yuffie. "Oh, and hey. Did you know there's stories of you on fanfictionet... where you read those stories and make comments on them?"

"Interesting. I had no idea," said Sora.

"Whoa. He mocked Zexion," said Lexeus.

"Dude. If Zexion was the GEU in Deep Dive. Then... damn," said Marluxia.

"Can't. I'M THE ONE WHO'S SUPPOSE TO BE CONNECTED TO SORA!! And Zexion looks more like Riku."

"I DON'T WANT THAT GUY TO BE CONNECTED TO ME!!" cried Riku, pointing at Zexion.

"But we're probably the only ones in the Organization with silver hair," said Zexion. "How dare you!"

"You know what? I wanna Sora and Zexion battle card. Zexion's card could just power up my Magic Defense... and Sora's could just be able to use a Trinity. Yeah," said Nikki.

"That is so wrong. YOU'LL NEVER SEE MY CARD!!! NEVER!" screamed Zexion.

"Hey guys. Did you know I'm transexual now?" asked Vexen.

"Dear god..." Lexeus fainted.

"And now the Organization is full of kinks," said Zexion.

"You know what? I'm going to start smoking again..." Axel then left the room.

"Very, very, random," said Marluxia.

"Oh Marluxia! Do me!" cried Yuffie.

"NO WAY!!" cried Leon, he then slashed Marluxia.

"WTF?" was the question everyone can ask... expect for Leon.

"Wait. How the hell did you get out of Sora's memory?" asked Marluxia.

"Sora wanted to do Kairi so much, he forgot about me," said Leon.

Kairi blushed. "Oh Sora. Just tap my shoulders and I'm ready.

"Disturbing..." Zexion could only say. Sora then tapped her shoulders, and the two left the room.

"Oh! And put a condom on!" Riku reminded Sora.

"Okay!" Sora replied back.

"Now, now, come back to me Yuffie. I NEED YOU. NOW!!" screamed Leon.

"Oh he's so romantic, he's fighting for meeee... Sorry Marluxia. You're just too gay to be with me. Bye bye." Yuffie and Leon then disappeared. Marluxia then fell on the ground and began crying.

"I need a girl dammit!" he cried.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!" screamed Larxene, and zapped him.

End of Chapter 4


	5. Random I guess

Castle Oblivion Survivor

Uh... yay... 5th chapter...

Chapter 5

Larxene swooned as she hid in Axel's closet... in which Axel was naked in his room.

"Get the hell out of there, Larxene... unless..."

"Yes. My bitch," said Larxene in a very seductive voice.

"Okay... and..." Axel pulled out a ring out of nowhere.

"Will you marry me?"

"Of course."

-

"Why the hell aren't there any stories based on me?" asked Zexion.

"Tell me about it. Lexeus gets no love!" cried Lexeus, and disappeared.

"There better not be a fucking Lexeus and Zexion lemon somewhere... or else I'm gonna fucking... I dunno," said Zexion, and walked away from the computer.

It was now their 6th day at Castle Oblivion... Nikki and Kairi came walking in with lots and lots of party materials.

"Um... what the crap?" asked Sora.

"Party for tomorrow. It'll be a week since this whole mess started," said Nikki.

"Is that really something to celebrate for?" asked Sora.

"Yes. Sora. Not to mention we'll also make love for the first time," said Kairi.

"Um. Alright!" Sora then grabbed a few of the party materials... and helped partytize the castle.

5 hours later...

"Ughnnnn..." a dizzy naked Larxene walked into the room with a naked Axel. Everyone in the room (or everyone) screamed.

Larxene then fainted onto the ground.

"Holy shit. That much?" asked Marluxia.

"Yessssnnnnghhhh..." Axel fainted as well.

"RIKU. YOU'RE A TOMATO HEAD!" screamed Sora.

"Don't call mah guy that," said Namine.

"It's a guy thing..."

"He's right," said Riku. He placed his head down in defeat. "I surrender..."

"MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!" cornily laughed Sora.

"Shut the fuck up," said Marluxia, and punched Sora.

"Ow..."

"I feel like writing a Zexion story," said Nikki.

"FINALLY!" cried Zexion, and hugged Nikki. He then picked her up, and dashed out of the room.

"WHOA!" screamed everyone in the room.

"Axel... why am I naked?" asked Larxene as she just woke up, "SHIIIIT!" She also ran out of the room.

"And I got it all on tape," siad Marluxia.

"Good man you are," said Sora.

"LEXUS GET NO LOVE!" cried Lexeus... and cried.

"VEXEN GET NO LOVE!" cried Vexen as well.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" screamed Axel, his nakedness then killed those two.

"Um... whoa," said Sora.

"Damn," said Riku.

"COOOTTEERRRR!" screamed Kairi.

"Rawr."

"It kicked!" cried Namine.

"Whoa," said Riku.

"This son of a bitch is evil!" cried Marluxia.

"AHHH! I'M NAKED!" Axel then ran out of the room.

"So... what to do?" asked Sora, looking at the dead bodies.

"DESTATI POWER!" screamed Marluxia, he threw a Phoenix Down on them. "Oh crap... um..." The bodies still layed dead.

"IT WORKED IN FINAL FANTASY!" Marluxia rushed out of the room.

The next day

"You're such an ass, Axel," sobbed Zexion... as he looked at his dead friends.

"But... they were annoying," said Axel.

"... Yeah, you're right. Screw those bitches. I gotta girl now..."

"PIMPIN'!" cried Axel, and walked off into the distance.

Then, everybody began partying, and listening to Utada Hikaru (Any song...)

"OH MY FUCKING GOD!" screamed Larxene, as she found a story on FF that paired Lexeus and Zexion.

"AHHHH!" Zexion grabbed Nikki, and rushed out of the room.

Lexeus then was alive.

"Whoa," said Marluxia. He got a sticky note, wrote whoa, and placed it on Lexeus.

"I AM NOT GAY!" screamed Lexeus.

"Oh really then?" asked Axel.

"YES!" he screamed once more.

"Care to tell us the tale of Vexen, Lexeus, and Zexion then? You never told us..."

"Oh fine..."

End of Chapter 5

Don't you just hate cliffhangers?


	6. Lexeus, Vexen, and Zexion

Castle Oblivion Survivor

Note: This chapter contains a lemon... or a sex scene.

Chapter 6

_It was raining. Heavily. Raining to damnination._

_A young silver haired boy ran in the streets, away from a bunch of neo shadows..._

_Lexeus and Vexen, two fellow Organization members walked on the streets as well, and noticed the boy._

_"We should help that kid," said Lexeus. He then used a steriod._

_"Oh Lexeus. You should stop using those. It's bad for your health. What happened to the Lexeus who used to train everyday?"_

_"His training never allowed him to be number one!" cried Lexeus._

_The young boy was a dead end... in an alley way. Neo shadows surrounded him. A black aura appeared to him._

_"Stop! Go away!" he cried. He fell onto the ground... the boy's right eye then started glowing, as he somehow began to lose his heart and becomea heartless._

_"YAAA!" Ice surrounded a few of the Neo Shadows, destorying them. The black aura then disappeared, and the young boy got up._

_"Thank you!" he cried._

_Then a big shield went spinning around, and hit lots of the heartless._

_And before the young boy's eyes... the heartless were gone._

_"So, what's your name kid?" asked Vexen. He looked at the pale boy who wore a black t-shirt, black baggy pants and black sneakers. Not to mention some chains, and a cross._

_"Zexion," he said._

"Interesting..." Axel said.

"No wonder why he never fights," said Larxene.

"Anyways. How does that prove you're not gay?" asked Axel.

"Least you get to know how we met!" cried Lexeus.

"Whatever," said Axel. "And I doubt Zexion was a so called 'Goth'..."

"Kairi..." Sora looked at Kairi.

"Yeah..." The two walked into the room...

-

"YAY SEX!" cried Sora as he hyperily jumped around.

"Shut up!" cried Kairi. They then had sex to your liking with moans of mass destruction.

-

"THOSE MOANS ARE SO DAMN LOUD!" screamed Marluxia. The moans of Sora and Kairi were heard loudly.

"Stupid kids. Did he even put a condom on?" asked Axel.

"I hope so," said Marluxia.

"I feel its heartbeat," said Namine.

"Um... okaaay," said Riku.

"AHHHH!" screamed Namine in pain.

"Holy shit. You're in labor. ALREADY?"

"No, not really," said Namine. "Just screwing with you."

"Oh Namine, you're such a sneaky little bitch..."

"Oh yeaaahhhh..."

Larxene was drooling on the computer screen... of a picture of Axel.

"I love you KHUltimania... thanks for the pimping Axel picture... niiiiiii..."

"Whoa," said Axel.

"Mmm... COM actionfigures," said Larxene once more. "I'd love an Axel action figure..."

Nikki then walked into the room, and drooled as well.

"Mmm... Zexiooon..."

"Mmmm... Axel..."

"Zexion's better."

"No. Axel is."

"Bring it, bitch!"

Larxene and Nikki began cat fighting.

"ZEXION IS LAZY!"

"WELL AXEL IS A TRAITOR!"

"BUT TRAITORS ARE COOL!"

"NO THEY AREN'T!"

"FUCK OFF:

"YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP LARXENE!"

"BITCH!"

"HOE!"

Zexion then walked into the room.

"Holy crap," he then said.

"I am so glad I'm not a confused young boy, and is Slade's apprentice," said Axel.

"Thank god my father is not big, red, has antlers, and four yellow glowing eyes," said Zexion.

"FOR WE ARE NOT TERRA AND RAVEN. AND SHALL NOT CAUSE A FIGHT OF MASS DESTRUCTION!" they both screamed.

Just then, a shadowy figure appeared out of nowhere, punched Nikki, grabbed her and left.

"OH MY GOD. SOMEONE ORGNAPPED NIKKI!" screamed Sora.

End of Chapter 6


	7. School sucks part 1

Castle Oblivion Survivor

Warning: This chapter is quite predictable...

Chapter 7

"Who gives a shit, I hate her," said Larxene.

"But Larxene," said Axel.

"I thought you loved me."

"I do. But dammit, this guy is in need of pimping." Axel pointed at Zexion.

"Oh alright," said Larxene.

ORGANIZATION! wait... wtf? Okay, anyways...

Then, a card of a school flew down onto the ground.

"I guess she's there... in that school," said Zexion, he picked it up. "COME BITCHES!"

"Alright, dude," said Marluxia. The organization including Vexen, who somehow popped alive... and the others ran to the 1st floor, and went into that... card.

-

"What the hell is this place?" asked Marluxia. He looked at the light orange walls... and black floor.

"A school," said Zexion.

"HEY! THERE'S THE NEW TEACHERS AND STUDENTS!" screamed DiZ, running towards them.

"DiZ? Hello, remember us?" asked Axel.

"Yeah, you're the Math teacher," said DiZ. "You guys... you know what to do." And DiZ walked off.

"Math, what the fuck?" asked Axel.

"Listen, bitches," said Marluxia. "This is still Castle Oblivion, so I'm still in charge."

"..." Zexion looked at him.

"Zexion, you take Literacy. Larxene, you're a lunch lady... Lexeus... go be a Gym teacher, and Vexen. Just go be a Science teacher..."

"Literacy? Why?" asked Zexion.

"Because I saw you drunk once, singing The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe," said Marluxia.

"How the hell did you know? Oh..." Zexion then walked off.

"Lunch Lady? I FUCKING FIND THAT RACIST GOD DAMMIT!" screamed Larxene.

"Shh, now Larxene..." Axel folded his arms. "All women are good for is cooking, sex, and... clothing."

But Larxene was long gone before Axel said any of that.

"What about you?" asked Axel... he didn't noticed that Vexen, Lexeus, Sora, Riku, Kairi, and Namine were gone as well.

"Me? I'm a janitor," said Marluxia.

-

So at Literacy...

"Um... hi kids," said Zexion, walking into the class. He looked at the kids... many of the ones in the back wore punk like clothes... while the ones in the front wore black. Not to mention, the ones up in front of the punks wore pink.

"Talk about labels," he muttered. Zexion looked around for the familiar face of Nikki.

"What are we going to do today, Mr...?" asked one student.

"Poet.. try?" Zexion sunk down onto the floor a little.

-

At Math...

"Okay. My name is Axel, bitches? Got it?" asked Axel, he grinned as he saw Sora in his class.

"Sora, what's the sqaure root of 3?"

"I um..." Sora wondered what to say, he never payed attention in Math.

"Uh oh, not paying attention, are we Sora?"

"0?"

"Close enough I guess..."

-

At Science

"Okay children," said Vexen. "Balls have sperms, and in the women's womb are the egg cells... oh I'm sure you learned about this in Sex Ed."

"Hey, what does a penise look like?"

Vexen took his Uniform off...

-

So at Gym.

"YOU GUYS CAN NOT DRIBBLE FOR SHIT!" screamed Lexeus, watching balls fly out of the student's hands.

Lexeus folded his arms, and thought for a moment. "Screw this, we're playing Soccer."

Cheers came from the students. o.O

-

At Lunch

"This food is gross!" cried a kid. Larxene grunted... a geek like kid came up.

"Do you know how many monerans are in this thing? What it can do to ourbody?"

"Monerans? What the fuck is that? Move up, you're holding up the damn line," said Larxene.

-

So with Marluxia who was in an empty hall... walking towards the Janitor's room...

"I'm a lumber jack! Oh I'm a Lumber Jack! A lumber jack! Ohhhh Iiii'mmmm a Luuuummmbbeeeerrrr Jaaaacckkkk!" he sung, twirling silver keys and a silver hoop. He then reached the Janitor's room, opened it... and found two naked boys humping each other.

"What the fuck...?" Marluxia quickly closed the door... and ran to the men's bathroom, where he threw up.

-

Period 2 with Zexion

"Where the hell is she?" he muttered once more.

Then, Riku and Namine walked into the class... holding hands.

"Okay. Anyways-"

A kid fired a spitball at Zexion's hair.

"Ha ha! Gray hair!" laughed one. He then fired one at Riku.

Riku and Zexion... at the same time...

"**SILVER HAIR YOU FUCKING HIPPY!**"

Like the kids they are, they just laughed... well, except Namine.

-

Period 2 with Axel

Axel grinned... seeing as how Kairi was in his class.

".9991?"

"Ummm... I'm not good at this stuff," said Kairi.

"Oh come on, it's easy."

"Yes... I guess."

-

Period 2 with Vexen

"YES!" he screamed, as Nikki was in the class...

-

"Okay. You kick the ball with your ankle... not your toes, 'cuz it's not gonna go the way you want it to go," said Lexeus. The kids smiled at him with sparkles in their eyes.

"OH YOU'RE SO BUFF AND STRONG MR. LEXEUS!"

"Awww... dankes kids."

-

Second Period, Lunch

"You need to cook better!" cried a kid.

"I DON'T FUCKING COOK. OKAY?"

End of Chapter 7...

Will the Trinity saga ever end? Will they find out the conspiracy behind all this? What the hell am I saying? The next chapter... coming up soon!


	8. School sucks part 2 finale

Castle Oblivion Survivor

Whoa. Chapter 8.

Chapter 8

With Marluxia...

He happily mopped the floor...

-

End of second period, wiith Vexen...

As everyone left the class... Vexen grabbed Nikki who somewhat for a plothole was last to leave.

"Lemme go!" she cried.

"You do not remember me?"

"Hell no. Get the hell away from me you crazy old fart!"

Nikki then kicked Vexen's balls, and left the room. (She's wearing a gray t-shirt, with gray baggy pants and black sneakers... by the way.)

-

Period 3- Literacy

"Fucking finally," muttered Zexion, seeing Nikki entered his class. "Whoa... Utada Hikaru is in my class..."

-

Period 3- Math

Axel grinned, Riku and Namine were in his class.

"Riku, care to confess your undying love for Namine?"

-

Period 3- Science

"My balls..." cried Vexem. Then Jackie Chan came outta nowhere.

"It unaffect us martial artists! Or karate people, ya?" Jackie Chan then disappeared.

"Okay... so protists..."

-

Period 3- Gym

"MY EYE!" screamed Lexeus, as a baseball hit his eye. He began crying.

-

Period 3- Lunch

"Ewww! There's a hair in here!" cried a kid.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" screamed Larxene.

-

Marluxia sat in the Janitor's Closet... smoking pot with some kids.

-

End of Period 3- Literacy

"Hey Nikki," said Zexion.

Nikki drooled.

"Come with uuuussssss..."

"Sure, sexy thing..."

They then were interrupted by loud cheers of Hikki! Hikki!

Nikki ran out of the door, accidently shutting the door... but in Zexion's face... causing him to fall down.

"That hasn't happened since I was a Sexton... and a young 11 year old..."

-

In the hallways...

"Go Hikki! Go Hikki! It's your birthday!" cried students... as Utada Hikaru sung (any song...)

Just then, Britney Spears farted. "Oops I did it again..."

Cries of EWWW were heard.

"I'm not that innocent!" she cried... and ran off.

"Hi Nikki," said Marluxia. He then grabbed her and ran off.

"AIIIIII!" she screamed.

"Baka!" DiZ hit Marluxia with a bed pan. "You're fired."

"-But"

"You kidnapped one of my students..."

"Brother Blood?"

Nikki ran off...

-

Period 4: Math

Axel's eyes widened with fear as he saw Paris Hilton in his class.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS SCHOOL? WHAT YEAR IS THIS. ANYWAYS? AND WHAT FUCKING GRADE AM I TEACHING?" Axel ran off...

-

Period 4: Gym

"FUCK OFF!" screamed Nikki, she then bitched kicked Lexeus. "TWAH!"

"Whoa!" cried a few kids. "She went Kazuya on him!"

Nikki then EWGF Lexeus.

"HOLY SHIT!" screamed one student.

"TWAH!" Nikki then TGF Lexeus. DiZ then fired Lexeus...

-

Period 7: Lunch

Nikki sat in a table... bored and quiet.

Larxene watched her... enjoying Nikki's misery. She then walked up to Nikki, and pulled her hair.

"AXEL IS BETTER. DAMMIT!" she screamed.

"AHHHHHH!" she screamed.

DiZ then barged into the lunchroom, and fired Larxene.

-

Period 8: Math

Axel grinned, Nikki was in his class.

"Nikki, how does IX equal six?"

"Um... you put a line that looks like an S before the IX?"

"Correct. Clap for yourself," said Axel.

Later...

"Eeeek!" cried Nikki as Axel held her arm. "Lemme go!"

"We're taking you back," said Axel.

"I don't know you, creep!"

"Omigod your memory... has been erased?"

"Join us... Axel..."

Nikki, and all the students... Vexen, Larxene, Marluxia, and Lexeus... oh, and DiZ eyes glowed red. Zexion barged into the room.

"What the hell do we do?" asked Zexion, he then began shaking Zombie Sora.

"Wake up, dammit!"

"Joiiinnn ussss..."

"The bitches are brainwashed," said Axel.

"Well, I do know what will snap Nikki outta it," said Zexion. He grabbed Nikki... and kissed her on the cheek.

"WHEEEE!" cried Nikki, as she was back to normal. "Wait. What the hell just happened?"

"Help us bring them back," Zexion said.

Axel then kissed Larxene... she turned back to normal...

"**Fooolssss! You can't essscaaappeeee my ssscchoooolllll...**" hissed a voice, the dark figure from before came.

"Oh fuck this shit," said Nikki, she then threw a dagger at its head.

"**Biiitcchhhhh!**"

So the organization and the others left the memory...

-

"Okay... so that guy who... um... orgnapped Nikki is part of a group called Trinity," said Marluxia.

"I've heard about them, they're trying to take over the world. Not to mention, the organization is its rival," said Vexen.

"Better get ready to kick ass," said Lexeus.

"Great. Namine's pregnant and we have a villian," said Riku.

"Better than standing here," said Kairi, she laughed and hugged Sora.

End of Chapter 8

YESSS... TRINITY FINALLY ENDS! But not this story...


	9. Fangirls

Castle Oblivion Survivor

Chapter 9

Nikki was watching Tears of Memories on her computer... or just listening to the music... running around.

"I still can't find the lyrics Nikki," said Larxene. "I'm starting to think that isn't a Utada Hikaru song."

"IT HAS TO BE!" she screamed.

"Listen, bitch, don't make me smack you," said Larxene.

"Oh fine..."

Axel then stepped on the ciggarette he just finished smoking, and said.

"Remember back in the old days where Marluxia would complain how lazy he is. Zexion would hiss at something, which was scary because he looked like pissed Raven. Lexeus would blab how strong he was. Vexen would do some weird Science shit. Larxene would bitch, and I'd be hiding in the dark corner plotting all your deaths. But that's now over... now that I started smoking."

"Reminds back in the days of Destiny Islands where Riku would give me a nuggie," said Sora. He then got a nuggie.

"Reminds of the... oh wait, nevermind," said Nikki... she went back to running around.

"You guys are so lucky... I've been alone for so, so long," said Namine.

"You mean you were always locked within your house?" asked Riku.

"Yes, indeed," said Namine. "I LOVE FRESH AIR!"

"Nature girl," said Kairi.

"Meep," said Namine.

"Talk about random..." Kairi put her legs up wide.

"Kairi... how the fuck are you doing that? And that's so... wrong," said Larxene.

"Whatever..." Kairi then walked off into the distance.

Just then, rabid fangirls jumped out of the computer... thus causing it to break.

"OMFG!111 ITS AXEL!11 LYK HES SOOOO H00TTT!111" screamed Fangirl 1

"LOL. HE SAID HELL IN COM!"screamed Fangirl 2.

"I'm scared," said Axel.

"Lolz look! It's Lexues... eewwww... wtf is up that tomahawk?anywyas? and lyk homeuch wooda woodchuckie chak if a woochk culd shak w00d?" asked Fangirl 1.

"I'm losing precious braincells. Nikki, we must run," said Zexion.

"Indeed," said Nikki. And the both of them ran for their life.

"NOOOOO!11 THRE LEEEIVNG!" screamed Fangirl 2.

"WE LUV U GUUYSSSS!" screamed Fangirl 1, and began crying. "waaa none likez me they keep runnin waaaa..."

"What the crap. Are these fangirls or Mary Sues?" asked Marluxia.

"Oh hell I know," said Larxene.

"I LIEK CHEESEEEE!" screamed Fangirl 2.

"That's fucking it. You bitches are going DOWN. DAMMIT!" Larxene fired thunderbolts at them.

"Waaa no one likes me. larkene even haters meeee!" sobbed Fangirl 1.

"OMFG! itz sowa and reekuu!" cried Fangirl 2. "LYK HAVE T3H 1337 BUTT SMECKS!"

"Screw you guys, I'm going home," said Sora, and walked off.

"N00000 WAA NO ONE LYKS ME! DATS IT. UR ALL N00BS!" sobbed Fangirl 1.

"Ya. ur all n00bs!" cried Fangirl 2.

"What the fuck is a n00b?" asked Vexen.

"You're such a n00b Vexen!" cried Larxene. "You don't even know what it is!"

"No no, you're a n00b!" cried Vexen/

"What the fuck? You don't even know what it is. So don't call me one!"

"A n00b is a person who's been here for a long time but doesn't follow the... rules?" asked Axel. "Guys, lets leave these fangirls alone. They're killing your braincells."

"Axel's right," said Larxene.

"But I LIKE THESE FANGIRLZ. LOLZZZ!" cried Vexen.

"OH MY GOD!" screamed Marluxia, and rushed off crying.

"w00t welcome to da club vexie," said Fangirl 2. "ur kewl. ur not a n00b lyk dem."

"Ya," said Vexen.

"lyk all we need is axel and zexion. cuz theyre hawt," said Fangirl 1.

"n00b ur fargatting bout riku sora111 sephiroth!11 omfffgg sephiroth w00t w00t! oh n arosss!111 w00t aros!" cried Fangirl 2.

"yea aros he kewl he got 2 keyblades," said Fangirl 1.

"Yeah! Sora's other side of the heart!" cried Vexen.

"U n00b. ur not speeking lyk us," said Fangirl 2.

"sry wun du it gain," said Vexen.

"Ya," said Fangirl 1.

"Alright... that's enough," said Larxene. She then zapped them all to death, even Vexen.

Lexeus then used a phoenix down on Vexen. And Vexen came to life. But then Sephiroth came out of nowhere, and stabbed Vexen to death, and disappeared.

"OHMY GOD!" screamed Lexeus, and sobbed out of the room.

"Holy shit. Vexen is dead for good," said Marluxia as he barged into the room.

"lolz!" cried Namine.

"AHHHHHH!" cried everyone.

"Nah, just fucking around," said Namine.

"So what the hell was the point of this chapter?" asked Axel.

"Nothing! Nothing at all," said Larxene.

"OH MY GOD! THEY BROKE THE COMPUTER!" Nikki sobbed.

And so everyone laughed, and the curtains closed.

"That's all for now 'docs!" cried Larxene, as she ate a carrot.

End of Chapter 9


	10. The Real No7

Castle Oblivion Survivor

Chapter 10 (FINALLY)

It has now been 2 months since the crazy ass fangirls appeared, and the appearance of Sephiroth. But, what was everyone doing right now?

Well Sora was watching Advent Children, which Zexion was watching too while playing with his sexy hair. Nikki, at this, was drooling. Axel and Larxene were doing naughty things in a room, alone. Riku was rubbing Namine's belly, Lexeus was crying for no apparent reason. Vexen was just down on the ground day dreaming about hot sex with Lexeus Marluxia was just standing there.

Suddenly, Saix barged into the room.

"I AM THE REAL NO.7!" he screamed.

"O RLY!" asked Marluxia.

"YA RLY!"replied Saix.

"PICS. NAO!" screamed Larxene as she pointed at Saix. Saix then went onto KH Ultimania, and pointed at the picture of him being number 7.

"Oh shi!" Zexion. "Nikki is a lying son of a bitch!"

"NO WAI!" screamed Sora.

"Let's kill that bitch," said Marluxia.

"But according to Inkspell... if you kill me then you all die," said Nikki.

"You didn't think us up, bitch," said Marluxia.

"Um... the story won't go on and we won't know who the fuck Trinity is?" asked Nikki.

"Fine, but until then you're a alive bitch," said Marluxia.

"Phew," Nikki sank into the couch.

"I knew she wasn't part of the 13th order anyways. Our names are all anagrams of the person we were made nobodies of with an x added to it. Like, Roxas," said Vexen. Suddenly, Roxas/BHK barged in.

"DON'T SPOIL KH2 SLUT!" screamed Roxas as he kicked Vexen's balls.

"Mmm, that feels good," said Vexen, as he fell back on the ground.

"You're a fucking crack head," said Axel as he came into the room with Larxene, he went to Roxas and gave him a high five. "I like you bitch! Let's be friends."

"Hell yeah," said Roxas, he went over to Sora. "Hello, bitch," he said.

"OMFG!" screamed Kairi as she barged into the room. She pointed at Sora and Roxas.

"YOU BITCHES LOOK ALIKE!"

"OH SHI!" screamed Zexion.

"Whew, at least I feel better that someone else besides me has someone that looks like them." said Riku.

"Oh Riku, if only you knew the truth about me and Kairi," said Namine.

"You don't have to tell me Namine. The darkness in my heart knows that you two are lesbians," said Riku. "And I like lesbians."

"I like guys who like lesbians like me," said Namine.

Lexeus suddenly stopped crying, and he gave a big smile. He gave the middle finger at the door. Suddenly, the superior barged in.

"Oh shi!" cried Zexion.

"BITCHES!" screamed the superior.

The organization members looked with interest.

"Bye!" exclaimed the superior as he skipped off. DiZ then walked into the room.

"Who the fuck are you?" asked Marluxia.

"You don't know me, bitch?" asked DiZ.

"Ya I know you," said Riku. "You're the crazy bitch that makes me choose choices!"

"THAT'S EXACTLY RIGHT BITCH!" screamed DiZ.

"BUT FOR NOW YOU BITCHES BOW DOWN TO ME!" screamed Saix.

"HELL NO!" screamed Marluxia.

"Bring it on, motherfucker," said Saix.

"Sure you cock sucking long silver hair pussy hair piece of shit! You're the same as shit!" cried Marluxia.

"PEOPLE EQUAL SHIT DUMBASS!" screamed Saix.

"O RLY COCK SUCKER!" asked Marluxia.

"YA RLY CUNT!" replied Saix. Lexeus raised the WTF flag.

"Well, looks like we're headed for some interesting times," said Riku.

End of Chapter 10


	11. The Notebook Effect

_**Castle Oblivion Survivor**_

Chapter 11

Roxas woke up, when he turned around he sawSora cuddled up like a baby crying.

"Oh I have to save her..."

Roxas, went wtf, so he kickedSora out of his bed.

"GET THE FUCK OFF MY BED QUEER!"

Sorawoke up, gaveRoxas the finger, and left crying to his bed.

"What the shit," said Roxas. He went back to wetdreaming.

_Later that day_

Roxas walked to where everyone was.

"Where's Sora?" He asked.

"I dunno," said Zexion as he touched his sexy hair.

"Hey, where's Kairi?" asked Riku.

"Oh shit!" said Roxas. The Organization then ran into Kairi's room, and saw her dead.

"WHOAMG!" cried Larxene.

"BACK INTO DARKNESS I FADE! I WON'T LET MYSELF BECOME YOU!" sung Namine.

They then saw Sora in a little corner, writing in a notebook.

"Sora?" asked Riku.

He continued to scribble in it.

Roxas then burped.

More scribbling.

"Shit, burps make you laugh 'wigga! What's goin' on?" asked Riku.

Utter silence.

"TALK TO ME NOW YOU BITCH ASS SUPERNATURAL BIG FEET KEY SMACKER OR I'LL RAPE YOUR ROOM!" screamed Riku.

"Go ahead. It won't matter where I'm going," said Sora. He looked into his notebook, and read this:

_It was a nice day in Destiny Islands. I wanted to take Kairi to the islands and take a walk in the islands. We went out and went to the boat. I hope we have fun._

In Sora's eyes, everything goes all weird and shit like a high Dave Chappelle. Sora is now 14 pre-KH with pre-KH Kairi. Sora is rowing the boat to Destiny Islands (the one where all the kids play at).

"Oh Sora, you're very nice," said Kairi.

"Thanks," said Sora as he stared deep into Kairi's eyes. "Say Kairi, what was your hometown like? Y'know, where you grew up?"

"I don't remember," said Kairi.

"Really?" asked Sora.

"Really," said Kairi.

The skys were then dark and there was storm.

"SHIT!" screamed Kairi.

Rain came pouring, and Sora started laughing.

Kairi laughed too.

"Ha ha ha! Fuck you Sora, I'm getting off this boat!" exclaimed Kairi as she jumped into the water and swam like a dolphin back to the home islands. Kairi as she went up into the air got electrocuted, and died.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Sora. He then got his notebook, scribbled like lighting in his notebook, and read it aloud.

_Kairi and I are on a cruise on our honeymoon! We love each other a lot and the worlds are all at peace!_

Everything then breaks away like Ashton Kutcher being punk'd and a man screaming.

Kairi and Sora are on the Titantic. They are having that little romantic moment where Sora puts Kairi on the handle on the ship and she puts her arms out like a cross. Ugh... I forgot what it was called.

But the paparazzi was there in front of the Titanic, looking at Kairi.

"Ooh the paparazzi! NAKEY TIME!" cried Kairi. She took her clothes off.

"I'mmmm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my looove, too seexxyyy for myyyy shiiirrrttt," said Kairi. The Titanic then hit an iceberg and Kairi died.

"**_RAUGH! SHIT BITCH ASS!_**!" screamed Sora. In his notebook he wrote:

_It is now everything before I got this notebook and before the crazy midget man who loves cheese sandwicheskills Kairi so I can getthis notebook!_

Everything then cracks away as a woman farts and starts giggling.

Sora woke up in his bed, with Kairi in it.

"Oh baby, you're alive!" cried Sora.

"Um... yeah," said Kairi as she read _A Project Chick._

"C'mon Kairi! Let us rejoice!" said Sora as he did the chicken dance.

"Like, um, okay, um," said Kairi.

"But to make it right! I learned thatyou shouldn't try to write pieces of what you want in life and expect to get good things! I should be happy with what I have now!" cried Sora.

"YEAH! YOU HAVE NO SCHOOL YOU LUCKY BASTARD!" screamed Nikki.

Sora smiled and showed his affection of knowing Kairi's alive the rest of the night.

End of Chapter 11


	12. The Zexion Trial

**Castle Oblivion Survivor**

**Chapter 12**

It was a nice quiet day in Castle Oblivion Survivor. Everyone was of course, still in the damn basement areas of Castle Oblivion, because it was too fucking hot in the upper areas.

Zexion was twirling with his sexyhair, until all of the sudden the cops barge in, and take everyone with them.

**IN SOME COURTROOM!**

Zexion was in the defendant table, and the Organization members were on Jury Duty, which sucks ass.

"FUCK I'M ON JURY DUTY! I HATE THAT SHIT!" screamed Larxene.

"Bitch you have a problem we kill you if you complain!" said a cop.

And the acusser or whatever the fuckit's calledwas a member of Trinity. Black cloak like Raven's from Teen Titans... hood on. Those bitches.

"We the court today put Zexion on trial for being a pedophile," said the Judge.

"The fuck? I'm no pedophile!" said Zexion.

"THEN WHY DID YOU KISS NIKKI ON THE CHEEK? HMMM:" asked the Trinity member.

"Oh fuck off shitbag!" said Zexion.

"SILEEENCE!" screamed the Judge.

"I demand my lawyer, sir!" said Zexion.

Suddenly, Reese Witherspoon walked into court, and sat besides Zexion.

"Like, I'm Elle Woods and I'll be your lawyer!" said Reese. Zexion gave her two thumbs up.

Reese/Elle got up and went to the Trinity member, who sat on the witness thingie.

"Do you have proof Zexion molested Nikki?" asked Reese.

"Hell naw! But everyone here believes me 'cuz they like pedophile cases," said Trinity.

"What the crap," said Reese.

"OH BUT WHAT ABOUT WHEN ZEXION TOOK NIKKI OUT THE ROOM? HMMM!" asked the Trinity member.

"IT WAS TO WRITE A STORY ABOUT MY LIFE! BITCH!" said Zexion.

"No swearing, dammit!" said the Judge.

"Here's the tape 'nigga!" said Reese. A cop thenput the tape in a TV.

_"Okay and let's add Ansem the Wise molesting me, even though he never did just to spice shit up like A Million Pieces. Damn that Capoteyness inside of me," said Zexion._

_"Alright beautiful," said Nikki._

_"Oh and don't forget the part I lose my virgnity to Paris Hilton with hot male domination," said Zexion._

_"Oooh you're experienced!" said Nikki, she then bitch-slaped Zexion._

_"Sorry Nicole, six more years!" said Zexion as he walked away, laughing his ass off._

_"FUUUUUUUCK!" screamed Nikki._

"See bitches?" asked Reese. "Zexion is not a pedophile."

"Shit, you're right Witherspoon! Sad jury duty people! What do you say?" asked the Judge.

"INNOCENT!" screamed the jury.

"Yup! Innocent 'cuz of them and your book sounds kinky! Mmmm, MIcheal Jackon! Case closed!" said the Judge as he went to go smoke crack with the cops and other law people.

"RAUUGHH YOU BITCHES GOT IT ALL WRONG! YOU BITCHES GOT PEOPLE WHO KNOW THIS MAN TO DECIDE!" screamed the Trinity member. He then pulled out a sword out of his ass, and the 13th struggle started playing. "DIE BITCH!"

Zexion pulled out his fake Soul Eater, and threw it at the Trinity member's wang.

"Ouch!" screamed the Trinity member.

"Come 'las roll sexy!" said Marluxia as he grabbed Zexion. All the Castle Oblivion bitches left the building.

**Back at Castle Oblivion**

"Fuck, Trinity members are trying to bring us down," said Saiz.

"Well we won't let them do that sort of shit, as long as we don't get into trouble," said Vexen.

"Wow, the old asshole is smart,' said Larxene.

"I'M A YOUNG GENTLEMAN MAM!" said Vexen.

"In your dreams," said Larxene.

"Vexen's right, we should go with what he said," said Axel.

"Yeah... sure," said Zexion.

"Oh what's wrong now?" asked Larxene.

"It's Mansex... I just remember all those times we had saturary mansex," said Zexion.

"It's okay Goth Boy, everyone has mansex with Mansex once in a while," said Axel.

"I hope your right," said Zexion.

And so the rest of the day was quiet.

End of Chapter 12


	13. The Sims 2 University

Castle Oblivion Survivor

Chapter 13

Just like last chapter, today was another normal day. Larxene got a new computer that's fan girl free, Nikki ditched the keyblades and got kunai, Zexion was still a pedophile with sexy hair, Marluxia was still a hippie, Axel was smoking crack, Vexen was trying to have mansex with Lexeus, Lexeus did not want to be man-molested, Riku was rubbing Namine's belly, Namine's baby kicked, Namine gave an "Ohhh!", Sora was wet dreaming, Kairi placed Sora's hand in a wet cup, Roxas was playing Resident Evil, and Saix was bored.

"Bitches! I'm bored!" said Saix.

"So? Who cares?" asked Marluxia.

"Who cares? WHO CARES!" screamed Saix at the top at his lungs. He looked at everyone with anger and boredom in his eyes. Gleaming at everyone's scared "wtf is your problem white boy?" pupil.

"Alright, fine! What's your idea?" asked Marluxia. He folded his arms and gave an annoyed look.

"I got this idea from The Sims 2: University-"Saix was interrupted.

"OH SHIT I LOVE THAT GAME!" exclaimed Larxene as she held the box set up.

"ME TOO 'NIGGA! O DEE!" cried Nikki.

"OH DEE!" cried Larxene back.

"ANYWAYS!" screamed Saix. "Let's all pretend to be college students, and mess up a college! There might be trinity members there."

"You sound like you came from FFX-2," said Zexion.

"I like it because I've always wanted to be a college student! Let's go bitches!" cried Marluxia.

But suddenly the TS2:U disk popped up, and it glowed a bright cyan blue as well as the computer. All of the sudden, everyone was sucked into the game.

AFTER MINUTES OF WEIRD DIZZY BACKROUNDS, PEACEFUL NEIGHBORHOOD MUSIC, AND CRACK…

"WAAA!" everybody cried. Everyone was now in a dorm lot, and the same height and weight. All the guys had the same voice, and all the girls had the same voice.

Marluxia had hippie clothes.

Larxene wore sexy clothes.

Vexen was the college nerd.

Zexion was the Goth.

Lexeus was the jock.

Axel was the cool guy.

Saix was the black basketball star.

Roxas was cool looking.

Namine and Kairi were the petite sluts.

Nikki was the sexy librarian.

Sora was 'Lil Jon.

"I knew it, Marluxia was a hippie and always will be!" said Axel.

"Well, whatever! We're stuck in this addicting like crack game? What do we do Marluxia!" asked Larxene.

"WE FIND A WAY OUT! BUT FIRST… CRACK!" screamed Marluxia. Everyone then went in the bubbly party thing, and blew bubbles in it. (It's that pinkish thing in the party section you bubbles in at the game… I forgot its name, and I'm not going back to look, sorry!)

"WHEEEE!" cried Saix as he started floating.

"MARIJUANA!" screamed Axel.

"Hee hee! Crack!" said Zexion as he too floated.

"Cocaine was in coke before 1912!" said Vexen as he gave a thumb up.

"NICOLE'S A WHORE!" screamed Larxene.

"LARXENE LACKS SEXINESS!" screamed Nikki backed.

"IT KICKED!" screamed Namine.

After that…

"Shit, that didn't do anything!" said Larxene as she gave the middle finger at Marluxia, who smiled at it like a gay.

"Alright then, let's go to a strip club!" said Marluxia. He then walked to the phone, and called the taxi.

"Um, couldn't we walk? It's right next to us," asked Axel.

Suddenly, the taxi came and they went on it. After a few minutes of waiting, it was now at this neighborhood screen.

"Which community lot would you like to go to?" asked words.

"Words! You're back dude! Where were you!" asked Roxas and Sora in unison

"I'd like to go to the strip club next door, dammit!" cried Larxene.

After minutes of waiting, they were now at the strip club.

"YAY! We're here!" cried Larxene. She rushed into the strip club. Zexion looked at the shop window all the way in the back.

"So sexy it hurts…" he sung. He then went into the strip club.

"Hey, this isn't a strip club!" said Marluxia.

"It's a one floor building with two bathrooms for a woman and a man, two bars, a pool table, couches, glass tables, seats for them, dark blue carpet, black walls, a lot of lights, and band instruments," said Vexen.

"LET"S MAKE MUSIC!" screamed Zexion.

Axel took the drums, Larxene and Marluxia took the electric guitars, Lexeus and Saix took the bass guitars. Zexion was in front with a microphone, free styling. The band was playing country music.

"QUOTH THE RAVEN NEVERMORE!" freestyle Zexion like a rapper.

Vexen then got naked, and streaked around the club. Girls gasped, men moaned.

As Sora walked around, someone played a prank on the sprinklers, and they went off. Sora's hair was now wet, and thus went down and had girly cornrows.

"Okala shaba doba shabba da, oh shaba, shaba do?" asked a bartender.

"WHAT!" asked Sora.

"Okala shaba doba shabba da, oh shaba, shaba do?" asked a bartender.

"WHAT!" asked Sora.

"According to her comic say box, she's talking about teaching you how to do a woman," said Riku.

"OKAY!" said Sora. However, he could not take his pants off. "Oh my god… I can't have sex with this woman!"

" SHABA DABA! OKALA BABBADABA!" screamed the bartender, and slapped him silly.

"Hey you big meanie! What about me?" asked Kairi.

"Oh, sorry Kairi… I forgot about cherishing the fact that I have you," said Sora.

Kairi then slapped him silly.

Namine then gasped. Her stomach got big.

"How is that possible on a community lot?" asked Riku.

"I dunno!" cried Namine. "But I know I won't get a miscarriage now! Damn you inteenimator! AND DAMN YOU TS2 FOR ADDICTIVENESS!"

"OHHHH SHE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT MAKES ME SAAAAAAAAAD!" cried Zexion. "I WON"T LET THIS BUILD UP INSIDE OF ME!"

People cheered. People gave them money.

"This songs sucks!" said Sora as he sat down on a chair. "Country music with slipknot? Jesus Christ!"

"DO NOT TAKE THE LORD'S NAME IN VAIN," said Riku in a menacing tone.

"I thought you were an atheist," said Sora.

Riku still had that menacing look at Sora.

"Okay, I won't Riku," said Sora. He never wanted to see that again.

The song was then over.

"Holy crap, we made like, 3,000 dollars… or euros, or simoleons. Whatever," said Saix.

"Are you having fun now you dipshit?" asked Axel.

"Totally man!" cried Saix.

"It's my turn now bitches! You guys can't make a song for shit," said Sora. He then got up on stage.

"YEAH! OKAY! WHAT! YEAH! OKAY! OKAY! YEAH! SHIT! YEAH! OKAY! WHAT!" sung Sora. People were cheering. "I'M 'LIL JON, BITCH!"

It was soon over, and Sora made a 100 dollars.

"Ha, you suck!" said Marluxia as he laughed at him.

"Fuck off," said Sora. He then walked off crying.

Nikki, after minutes of being quiet, finally said something.

"Okay, that didn't work and the money's useless. Can we find a way out now?" she asked.

"WHAT!" asked Marluxia.

"YEAAAH!" screamed Nikki.

"OKAY!" screamed Marluxia back.

"My ears are hurting 'cuz of you Nicole. Stop fucking screaming ho-bag that shit ain't normal you need to go to the mental hospital," said Larxene in a bitchy voice.

"Stop player hating Larxene," said Nikki to her.

"Guys, let's just stop, okay?" asked Zexion.

"No, I don't want to," said Larxene. She then kissed Zexion.

"You bitch…" said Nikki in an evil tone, she slapped Larxene silly, and then Zexion.

"Why'd you slap me?" asked Zexion.

"'Cuz you let her kiss you," said Nikki.

"PEOPLE! LET'S JUST STOP!" cried Namine. "You're giving the baby a headache!"

Everyone then looked at her.

"That's it, I'm getting the fuck out of here. You're useless Marluxia," said Axel in an annoyed tone. However, Marluxia was off smoking crack.

"How do you suppose to do that when our leader is a moron?" asked Larxene.

"I dunno, I guess we try!" said Axel.

"Hey guys, I know how!" said Lexeus suddenly. Everyone turned to looked at him. For once in his life, Lexeus was being smart.

"What is your idea genius?" asked Axel.

"WE USE THE MYSTERIOUS LEAVE WORLD ON RIGHT SECOND TO LAST SIDE WALK ON LOT THAT NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT!" screamed Lexeus.

"Oh shit, yeah!" said Nikki. The gang then went to the right side of the lot, and after a few minutes of looking, they found the "Leave world" or "leave world" option.

"Wackos," said Larxene.

"I DON'T WANNA GO!" cried Saix. "This is fun."

"You're coming whether you like it or not," said Zexion. He pushed Saix who then walked out of the lot. Everyone then did the same.

BACK AT CASTLE OBLIVION

"We're back, bitch!" said Marluxia.

"Yay!" cried Nikki as she went around. She then started reading the "Hunchback of Notredame" (I heard it was a cool book… I loved the Disney movie…)

"I guess the meaning of this day is that wanting to have an adventerous life that isn't normal isn't good!" said Zexion.

"Pfft yeah right, no school for me!" cried Sora. Nevermind, actually living a fantasy is better than going to school. That is the moral of this chapter.

End of Chapter 13


	14. Jerry Springer

Chapter 14

Unlike the other chapters, this chapter starts off with massive bitching in the basements of Castle Oblivon (it's still too damn hot to be up on service! it's quite nice and cold in the basement areas, they got better air conditioning for some reason)

"YOU KNOW WHAT! I HATE YOU! I HATE THIS SHIT!" screamed Nikki at Zexion, who like most guys had no idea why she was so mad.

"Damn, it was Larxene's fault! She made me kiss her!" said Zexion.

"WELL TOO BAD! I LOVED YOU AND ALL YOU DID WAS KISS HER AND YOU NEVER RETURNED MY CALLS!" screamed Nikki at the top of her lungs as she cried. Everyone stared at her interestingly except Larxene who snickered evilly.

"You never called me!" cried Zexion.

"YES I DID! CHECK YOUR PHONE!" screamed Nikki.

"I don't even have a phone!" said Zexion.

"GO TO YOUR ROOM MISTER!" screamed Nikki as she pointed to the doors to the hallways which led to everyone's room.

"FINE!" screamed Zexion as he barged out. Soon, everyone then left because no one wanted to be around the 'emotional freak'.

Nikki sobbed as she turned on the TV. It was at Jerry Springer.

"Did your pedophile boyfriend cheat on you for the legal woman! Call now at 666-867-5309!"

"That's it!" said Nikki. Using the power of the cards- no this isn't Yugioh (btw, they've been using cards and memories to get them to certain places. In fact, forget what I said I'll use it as a plot advancements. Will be more explained when I can draw good, get a new microphone, and get flash.)

Nikki then wrote the phone number on the card, and everyone then came into the Jerry Springer set/stage/whatever. (Since Nikki has a memory of what the Jerry Springer stage looks like, she could using cards be there, but with her memory of the place. There will still be interactions with other people because of her knowness of the person. If you know a person and the way things go you could tell what was going to happen. Or something like that. It's hard to explain. But if you watch Jerry Springer a lot you'd know the crazy shit that was going to happen. Anyone can do this ability.)

"JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!" cried all the castle oblivion bitches that weren't Nikki, Zexion, Larxene, or Axel as they stayed in the front seats cheering. Suddenly Jerry comes in and everyone goes wild, he then shakes everyones hand and the metal music stops.

"Well hello bitches! Welcome to Jerry Springer! Wasting technology since 1991, w00t! Well, today is a special day today. Today is about girls and their pedophile boyfriends cheating on them on legal women! Come out Nikki!"

Nikki then stepped out on the stage and took a seat at the right as everyone booed.

"Hello Jerry," said Nikki.

"So Nicole, how are you?" asked Jerry.

"I'm fine if it wasn't for that bitch Larxene," said Nikki.

"Larxene?" asked Jerry. "Tell me more about her."

"Well, she made mah man kiss her by threatening him by replacing his sexy shampoo with shitty shampoo, thus giving him ugly, dry, dead hair," said Nikki.

"Think you know why she did it?" asked Jerry with his school counciler voice.

"'Cuz she's a no good rotten pig stealing great-great-grandma bitch!" cried Nikki.

"Alright. Larxene, come out!" cried Jerry Springer. Everyone w00ted as Larxene came up. Nikki then tried to bitch slap her but the guards pushed her back.

"BITCH! FUCK YOU!" screamed Nikki.

"WHEN!" replied Larxene back in a sharp tone, she then sat down far from Nikki at the far left.

"Now Larxene. Why'd you threaten Nikki's boyfriend that you'll fuck up his shampoo unless he kissed you?" asked Jerry.

"'Cuz I'm a bitch like that, and I hate Nicole. YES IT'S NICOLE STOP CALLING HER NIKKI DAMMIT!" screamed Larxene.

"That's a good thing! But what about your boyfriend, isn't he jealous?" asked Jerry.

"Boyfriend? 'Nigga that's mah fiance! He dun' care if Zexion kisses me, that pedophile needs a real woman!" said Larxene.

"Well, let's bring out Axel to look forward more into this!" said Jerry. "Come out Axel!"

Axel then came out as fangirls killed themselves in his glory. He then took a seat next to Larxene's right.

"So, you and Larxene are engaged, correct?" asked Jerry.

"Yeah, for two months! She makes the bed exciting," said Axel.

"Heh, heh, yeah. So why don't you care if Zexion kisses her?" asked Jerry.

"Because dammit man, that nigga needs to be pimped up!" said Axel. "Oh yeah..."

"Yes?" asked Jerry as he used his secret mind powers to talk to Axel.

"All women are good for is sex, cooking, and clothing..." said Axel in Jerry's mind.

"Yup! Totally true! Let's bring out Zexion!" exclaimed Jerry. Zexion then came down as everyone w00ted to him. He then took a seat next to Nikki's left.

"So Zexion, when did you and Nikki meet?" asked Jerry.

"When she barged in the castle and started humping on my leg," said Zexion.

"Um... that's interesting. It looks like Nikki's known you longer. Tell me what you knew about Zexion before you saw him yourself," said Jerry.

"Well it all started while I was at some KH fansite when I was 11; I forgot which site it was. I saw Zexion's picture there, and I thought he was adorable. I played KHCOM, and he was even more adorable. It was too sad I never got to hear his voice. However, one day through the **_POWER OF WRITING _**I got to see him for real. However, as someone who is turning 13 in a month I am quite educated and I have gotten more life experience in love since I was a humble 11 year old," said Nicole in an intelligent voice.

"Zexion, any comments on this?" asked Jerry.

"I had no idea what she just said," said Zexion.

"Me too! So anyways, why'd you go out with her? That's shits illegal y'know" asked Jerry.

"Because I did not want Marluxia to have her, because he is exactly like Micheal Jackson and I did not want that to happen to her! Y'know how fucking gross it is to be sleeping and all of the sudden you hear an 11-year old/12-year old moaning! That shit is gross dammit! AND I DID NOT MOLEST HER SO STOP CALLING ME A PEDOPHILE! SHIT!" screamed Zexion.

"I guess that's true. That's quite a good thing you did for her! And it must be true according to the judges back at Memory Court who were on crack!" exclaimed Jerry. "So why did you kiss Larxene?"

"Because chicks dig the hair man! I don't want that shit messing it up! I love my hair... it's so sexy it hurts," said Zexion.

"So there you have it. Understand Nicole? He just wanted it to be sexy for you," said Jerry.

"Yeah! But what about the kids?" asked Nikki.

"WHAT KIDS! THERE NEVER WERE ANY KIDS!" screamed Zexion.

"Nobody ever understands me!" whined Nikki.

"Oh suck it up Nic-hoe!" said Larxene.

"Suck my dick bitch!" cried Nikki.

The guys then started laughing, and Axel and Zexion had a beer as Larxene and Nikki proceeded to bitch fight.

"You are not G.I Jane in any shape or form! You are also not funny, your writing is a piece of shit like your artwork, and your a dumbass!" said Larxene.

"YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER MIDDLE-SCHOOL DRAMA QUEEN WHOSE SOOOO POPULAR WHOSE GONNA GET FUCKED BAD WHEN SHE ENTERS HIGHSCHOOL!" cried Nikki as she aimed for a punch at Larxene, who went back and pulled her hair back so hard she fell down on her back.

"WELL YOU HAVEN'T EVEN WENT TO HIGHSCHOOL! WHEN YOU DO YOU'LL GET FUCKED HARD CUZ FRESHMEN SUCK! AND I ALREADY FINISH MY P.H.D! CALL ME DR.LARXENE BITCH!" screamed Larxene.

"RAUUUUGHHHHHH!" cried Nikki as the guards tried to pull them off.

Jerry then sighed.

"AT THE NEXT JERRY SPRINGER! A teacher has an affair with a student way older than him in driver's ed who cheats on his old student for a woman his age! Find out when we get back!" said the cliffhanger dude.

So then we're back at Jerry Springer. Basically some 50 year old guy goes to Driver's Ed, and his hot young 27 year old who the both of them become boyfriend and boyfriend, then cheats on him because he turned straight and wanted this hot 20 year old girl that looks hotter than Trish Stratus! So the 50 year old guy gets his ass kicked by the Trish look alike, and 27 year old teacher and the 50 year old then break up and there is peace.

"So, now that the shows about to be over! Let's look at our victims to see how they're going to cope! Nikki?"

"Well, I guess I'm gonna be nicer to Larxene... well try to, and get some dating advice so Zexion can turn pedo for me!" said Nikki. Zexion sweat dropped. Larxene grinned.

"And Larxene?" asked Jerry.

"Well, since she's young I'll be nice to her! But you know how gross it is for a bunch of people around their 20s, mid teens, and some old fart ("I'M A YOUNG GENTLEMAN DAMMIT!" screamed Vexen from the crowd) and then some pre-teen comes in the picture!" said Larxene.

"It's not that gross, but since like the school counciler sound alike I am, I agree! That's all for now folks, enjoy the show!" said Jerry as he bit a carrot and gave a wink.

End of Chapter 14


	15. Ghetto Attack

Castle Oblivion Survivor

A/N: Review more people! That's all I have to say. Oh, and if you're into "ghetto" don't be offended.

**Chapter 15**

So a month has passed by. Our organization bitches have been stuck in the castle for three months now. They are still downstairs because it's so damn hot outside, and that they have windows outside and Marluxia believes the hotness comes from the sun radiating things. In the basement there's no windows and it's all airconditioned really nice. Zexion also doesn't like to be on the upper floors, so yeah.

Instead of everyone doing their own thing today, everyone did something together. They were playing truth or dare.

"Truth or dare Vexen?" asked Lexeus.

"I am a brave scientist... I pick dare," said Vexen. Everybody around him sighed.

"I dare you to kiss a girl," said Lexeus.

"Ewwww girls!" said Vexen. "No way! I'm anti-girl. I'm femi-nazi. I hate girls. Meow meow meow male private parts deliver!" Everybody sighed once more.

"I'll do it," said Larxene as she forcefully kissed Vexen. She quickly broke off and washed her mouth with soap.

Vexen then ran away crying.

"Wimp. Anyways, since Vexen left it's Riku's turn," said Lexeus.

"Okay Sora, truth or dare?" asked Riku.

"DARE!!!" screamed Sora.

"I dare you to lick the floor," Riku dared Sora.

"That's mad wack, Riku, you suck," Sora replied to this dare. He licked the floor.

"Truth or dare Roxas?" asked Sora.

"Dare," said Roxas.

"I dare you to slap Larxene," said Sora.

Everybody then sighed. They weren't in the mood for bitch fighting.

"This shit is boring. Let's just go do our own thing," said Zexion. Everybody agreed with him, and finally everyone did their own thing.

Just about as they were going to do their own thing, the door slammed open. There came four ghetto people. Shanika, Benik (pronounced Beh-ni-que), Mr. Ghetto, and Nicotine.

"I'm mad pissed your name is Nicotine," said Larxene as she pointed to Nicotine, a very tanned well, who cares about his race, he's shorter than Sora. He wears a black baggy t-shirt that reaches to his thighs, and baggy jeans. He also wears big white sneakers. I also forgot, he has black cornbrows(sp?)and brown eyes.

"Yo don't laugh at my name you player hater," said Nicotine.

"Yea don't fuck with my boyfriend you dumbass bitch, cuz yo' momma such a dumb blond she mistaked George Bush for a sandwich!" yelled Benik at Larxene. Benik was well, a bit dark looking too. I wouldn't put her in a race, but yeah! Benik had stylish looking brown hair, and brown eyes. She also wore a hot pink shirt, dark jeans with a matching pink belt, and white sneakers with a little pink on them. I forgot to mention that her lips are very glossy.

"Oh lord," said Zexion as he felt like puking at the worst yo momma joke ever.

"Oh shit!" panicked Nikki. "I thought I left that wannabe ghetto ass section of the Bronx! Shit! Leave me alone bitches!" Nikki then grabbed Zexion, and rushed away into a dark corner, far from the ghetto people. Well, wannabe ghetto.

Marluxia looked at Shanika.

"Hey sexy, you wanna be my girlfriend?" asked Marluxia.

Shanika was "someone I wouldn't put into a race" with blonde hair. She wore a brown t-shirt, dark jeans, and pretty brown and white sneakers.

"Bitch, back off I had sex wit her when we were 10, foo," said Nicotine. Benik then started crying.

"I thought you loved me! I've always wanted to have sex wit you! WAAAAA!" cried Benik. "My life is shit! I'm 5'7 and I weigh 80 pounds! I am soooo mucho fat!"

"Dun worry baby girl I gotcha," said Nicotine.

Meanwhile back in the dark corner, Zexion and Nikki were cringing.

"Hey, what about me bitches?" asked Mr. Ghetto, the only adult male of these ghetto people. I'm only going to say that he looks like Dave Chappelle.

"What about you? You're not wannabe ghetto Mr. Ghetto. You are a true ghetto man!" said Namine, as Riku rubbed her belly.

"That's right, I'm here to teach these kids a lesson about being ghetto," said Mr. Ghetto. "And you bitches are unlucky enough to be the innocent victims of their player hating."

The COS group then sighed. Today was going to be a drag.

"Hey, look at that ugly hoe with brown hair!" Benik said as she pointed to Nikki. Nicotine nodded. Nikki stuck the middle finger at them. They laughed.

Axel who had been hiding by sitting in the sofa decided to man up.

"Hey fuck you little kids!" cried Axel. He pulled out his weapon.

"Like oh my god, I'm so scared! People made in video games suck balls," said Nicotine. Shanika sighed and then bitch slapped Nicotine.

"You are so fake, it pisses me off," said Shanika.

"Girl don't talk to my man like that!" cried Benik.

"I can talk to anyone I want however I want! WHAT BITCH, WHAT?!" yelled Shanika. She then bitched slapped Benik, who Benik then bitch slapped back! Then they started beating the shit out of each other.

"Whoa, this is more "oh dee" that the bitch fights Larxene and Nikki have. I rather replace them with these ghetto- I mean wannabe bitches," said Marluxia.

"WHAT?!" yelled Larxene as she bitch slapped Marluxia. Soon the girls stopped bitch slapping each other, for they have both beat the shit out of each other.

"Oh boy, looks like they beat the shit out of each other. That leaves us to you, Nicotine!" cried Mr. Ghetto as he pointed to Nicotine.

"Hey, what kind of stupid name is that?" asked Nikki.

"Shut up white girl! You invented it! I'm mad pissed," said Nictotine. "I'm too gangsta' that this name is cool."

Larxene laughed, "if it's so cool why are people dying from it?"

"That's mad gay! That's it, I'ma bust a cap on yo' ass!" cried Nicotine.

"OH HELL NO!" cried Lexeus as his theme song started playing. Lexeus then proceeded to beat the shit out of Nicotine.

"Wow. They all beat the shit out of each other. Looks like my job's done," said Mr. Ghetto. He picked the kids up.

"Mr. Ghetto, why the hell did you come here in the first place?" asked Nikki.

"Because these bitches suck at Math! AHAHAHA!" Mr. Ghetto laughed, and was gone in a poof. Axel started laughing.

"Man, once you a math teacher you laugh at math related jokes! Heh," Axel said.

Everybody then sighed.

"Well, let's do our own thing," said Zexion as he came up from the dark corner. Everyone then nodded and went to do their own thing.

**End of Chapter 15**


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